So, lets talk about this thing I do where I “try on” my ideas as a fundamental part of my decision making process. I’m a big fan!
When I need to make a decision, I think about the objective and act as if its already in effect. Things like: “Oh, did I tell you I booked a trip to Reykjavík”, “Guess what? I got a new job”, “so I fostered a dog from the shelter, better go home and walk him”, etc.
It can be a little confusing to people around me. But those who know me well have learned to check if in fact I have made this decision or am I just trying it on. (When I make these declarations, you can tell in the way that I say it that I’m up to something!)
Sometimes, as I’m making my grand proclamations, I even clarify with “Hey, I’m going to try on: going back to school for my LLM” (swap this out for MBA depending on the day). Then I go on to share the whole scenario as if its ‘on’. Things like “I applied to this school, I am starting classes on this date, here is how I’m going to manage the course work, etc…”. I launch into the various details and requirements of such possible fictitious notion I’m considering at the moment. By the time I speak such a thing, I’ve already done some research and run some scenarios in my head, but am far from a decision.
I have to tell you, this REALLY works well for me. One recent ‘try on’ was should I buy a treadmill. I questioned if this would be useful or another clothes hanger and in the end, I did it! (About a year ago now and I love it!). Another try on was in fact going back to school for an LLM (it won out over the ‘maybe a MBA’ option). In the end, based on my process, I opted to not go back to school. Trying that on was very exciting, but after I evaluated the time, effort and cost in the context of my actual day-to-day life, the ROI just wasn’t there for me in this season.
So what I’m saying in these (or really any) examples, is that it really helped me get my head around all that’s involved in making such a decision. Be it big or small choices and details, what are the implications of what will be required. What are the cost, the cost-benefit analysis, and perhaps most importantly, what will it be like in my real actual life. This is opposed to my romantic fantasy life, where almost any notion of something new can trick me into thinking that everything is a good idea! (My inner-thirteen year old is very optimistic and adventurous you know!)
By default, my ‘try on’ theory includes the concepts of opportunity cost and the sunk cost fallacy, both of which are so valuable! Before you make a big decision, you have to know or at least consider, not only what you’re getting but also what you’re giving up. And even if this is a work in a progress and you’re already ‘invested’ – it is important to consider getting out because sometimes quitting is winning. Per the sunk cost fallacy, often our previous efforts keep us attached when we should let go….right?
Maybe you need to try that on? (Ouch! And you’re welcomed).
Ok – so am I telling you all of this because I’m about to take on a new adventures or make a significant purchases? Nope! The pandemic has forced me to neglect my passport, acquire no more toys (for now) and I just changed jobs last month so I’m all set for now on life changes!
BUT this fun thing just happened. Last week I listened to a discussion between author-podcaster Jay Shetty and actor Matthew McConaughey, posted in an interview from a few months back. (Side note: I was listening while on the aforementioned treadmill! HA). Jay asked Matthew how he makes big meaningful decisions in his life, and his answer, much to my utter delight… he does the exact same thing!
It totally cracked me up and inspired this little missive. He calls is “sleep with it“ but described a parallel process! Jay thought this was a surprisingly simple gem that he absolutely would be testing in his own life.
I didn’t need any super star endorsements to validate my process, but it was a really fun alignment. So perhaps some of my quirky and seemingly random ways are not so random after all..?
Hold please